Perhaps the most over marketed, over focused age category: the twenty something male. We are supposed to be young and virile, taking life by the balls and squeezing until life drops to its trembling knees begging for mercy. We are supposed to work hard, to play harder, and never stop to ask for permission (hell even stopping to ask for forgiveness is optional). We are the envy of the world, people look at us and go "That's awesome! I wish my life was more like that!"
So why write a blog about the twenty something man? I've tried (and failed) to write blogs in the past. Maybe it's because I couldn't relate to them. Being 27 years old and having a penis I can definitely relate to being a twenty something man. But it's more than that. I think that your twenties (and especially your late twenties) is a strange time. At the risk of sounding like a pansy I am going to say it is a difficult time, you probably just finished school and have some debt to repay, you are struggling to find a job and your mind is simply boggling over the aspect of a "career", maybe you're not quite happy in your current job and are questioning all the decisions you've made to this point. You may or may not have some semblance of happiness, you might have relationship issues. With all of these external pressures it is easy to lose track of yourself. I think that your twenties is the time to find yourself, to set the course for the beginning of your adult life. It's an incredibly important time, one that I am struggling with and currently going through, and that's why I want to write this blog. Not to fulfill some narcissistic need to shout "Hey listen to me, I'm right and I'm always right!" but to lend a voice to the realization that this kick-ass time of life isn't always so kick ass. I am writing this blog in hopes that I get a "me too" and let some of you handsome devils know that you are not alone in this messed up crazy time of life.
Let's get this out of the way right out of the gate: I am not airing my dirty laundry in public. It is not my intention to drag personal issues onto the internet. The things I write about will be the thoughts, actions and feelings as I go through this change in my life, things that I think are universal to this experience and important to every twenty something man. So here it goes, to kick it all off I wanted to look back, to think of 5 things that I would say to 2007 Nick as he turned into another 20 something man:
1. Make sure you do things for yourself. It's too easy to fall into the trap of always making other people happy, whether you want to live up to the expectations of your family, make your girlfriend happy, brown-nose a little to your boss to try and get a head at work, it's too easy to forget about yourself. As you go through this transition in life from "kid" to "adult" (and I use those words loosely) don't lose track of the things that make you happy.
2. Keep track of your friends. Making friends is not always easy. Especially when your life is consumed by work and you take little time to yourself. You don't always have the opportunities to meet new people when you are older, so appreciate what you have. Your friends that you have built throughout your life (and I mean your real FRIENDS) are special and you need to work to maintain those relationships. Don't let laziness be an excuse to be a loner.
3. You don't have to be perfect. We spend too much time striving for perfection. You either got the answer right or wrong on the test (everyone knows part marks are just pity marks because you got the question wrong), you either made or didn't make the sports team, you either got or didn't get the job. We spend so much time thinking in black and white that we forget that "perfect" is actually just an opinion. You need to have your own set of standards and measure your successes and failures against your own set of standards and more importantly you need to set realistic goals for yourself. Don't take it so hard if you don't live up to some unrealistic expectation, it's good to strive to be the best you can be, but if you are too hard on yourself in getting there you won't enjoy it once it's there. If I could sneak in one "extra" piece of advice it is that things don't always live up to your expectations, things aren't perfect and things don't always go as they do in your head. You have to learn to enjoy these imperfect moments because you don't get them back.
4. Don't care so much about what people think. Yeah, this is incredibly cliche, but honestly it's true. Number one, who cares what these assholes think. If you are who you are, and you're happy doing it, who cares? The important part is be yourself and don't change who you are because some dick bag thinks it's not cool. Do things that make you happy because they make you happy, not because some douche with a side-part, some snazzy shoes, and a mustache thinks it's cool or uncool. And along these same lines, don't be afraid to try new things because you are afraid to be judged. Just jump right in, ignore the asshats, and give yourself a chance to either like or dislike something new.
5. Enjoy it. Despite all the turmoils, the new responsibilities, the change in who you are as a person and who you want to be in your life, this is still possibly the best time in your life. You are young, you finally have an income that permits you to eat more than just ramen for 3 meals a day, and god damnit, you are one attractive SOB. This is a time to find yourself in your new, big boy pants, so take the time to find out what you like and what you don't like but more than anything make sure you enjoy what you are doing.
So why devote one more bit of attention to the possibly the most privileged, entitled group of people in the world? Quite simply while everyone else looks at us and says "Man, what I wouldn't give to be twenty something again" or "I wish I was out of school and could live my life like that" we are going through a very important time in our life. I'm going through this time in my life right now, so for the time being this is my outlet to rant about what I'm going through and the things that I encounter in my life. As I grow with this blog (and in my life) I hope that my fellow 20 something bad asses can identify with what I'm saying. I hope you identify with my stories, I hope you share yours, and more then anything I want to have fun with it.
Oh and 2007 Nick: you like gin, give scotch another chance, and when someone offers you a "cookie" at a party, just make sure you know what type of cookie...
Let me know your thoughts, your experiences. What 5 pieces of advice would you give to a younger you?
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