I grew up in a small town. My graduating class wasn't very big, but we had lots of smart people. I haven't kept up with everyone but I am sure some of them went on to be doctors or lawyers. Others of us went to grad school or other higher degrees. Considering we had one high school of like 700 kids it's fairly impressive, so everyone should go buy a teacher a beer this weekend.
But none of these people are the smartest person that I went to high school with.
The smartest person I went to high school with, for the sake of this story let's call him Terry. Now Terry was never the top student in the class, he was great at other things, athletic, well liked, I think he did good in classes but we didn't exactly have AP Chemistry where I'm from.
I worked with Terry and one day while we were probably supposed to be working we were talking about what we planned to do after graduating. Terry could probably have got into one of the major universities around, but he told me that he wanted to be a plumber. Plumbers make good money, they can find work in any city or town, there's always work, you can work for yourself and set your own hours.
It took me 4 years of university, 3 years of grad school, and 2 years working to learn what he already knew at 16.
Well, at least I'd like to think he thought this at 16. But what I'd like to think he thought is that being a plumber would let him have the security to pursue the lifestyle he wanted. What I've realized is that life sucks. Being a kid was WAY easier and way more fun than being an adult. Life is hard and to keep up, to keep passion for life you need to feed yourself.
I'm not talking about literally feeding yourself, that's pretty straight forward, if you don't eat you'll starve. As sappy as this is going to sound, I'm talking about feeding your soul. I'd like to think that Terry realized that work was never really going to fulfill him (or maybe it would), things outside of work would make him happier so he should choose a career that "feeds" him the most and let him do what he wanted to be happy.
It took me 7 years of post secondary education and 2 years of "on-the-job "training"" (yes, "training" gets extra quotation marks) to learn that I like learning. To keep myself happy in my career I need to keep putting myself in situations where I can learn. When I can't learn any more, it's time to put myself in a new situation.
I didn't go to my high school reunion. I'm sure all of my old classmates found success in one way or another. Terry is a plumber, and I think he works for himself. I'm still learning and I really hope it pays off with success in the long run.
Have you ever woke up in the morning and dreaded the day? Decided to just stay in bed because facing the day seems just too hard? And what's the point, life is shitty anyways. Now imagine feeling that every day.
To me, the best way to describe depression is you lose your passion. Things that you enjoyed you don't enjoy anymore. You stop caring, about people, about work, about school, about yourself. You give up, you feel like life is pointless, you stop enjoying everything. You feel helpless, you feel like no one understands you, you feel alone.
Or at least that was my experience.
We all seem to know someone who has suffered with depression. Yet the word depression is still so taboo. If you are depressed, you don't want to tell anyone because of the stigma associated with the word; "mental illness" means crazy right? You don't really want that social interaction anyways and you probably try to deal with it on your own.
For me, I didn't even know know I was depressed. I didn't know or understand what depression was. I just knew I wasn't happy, I was never happy. I had already given up but I didn't realize it because I could escape into the world of TV, video games, and the internet; these things didn't really make me happy but at least they can kill time. Then I came across a video published by a YouTuber called Hutch.
Before I watched this video, depression was what other people went through, not me. To me depression was associated with suicide. I wasn't suicidal, so how could I possibly be depressed? Understanding the breadth of what depression is isn't easy, and it's something that is constantly being redefined. That's not something I understood.
For me, even understanding it didn't help. Even realizing you're depressed doesn't help because it doesn't change the way you feel. The biochemistry in your brain doesn't change just because you know it's messed up. But what I eventually came to understand was that if I wanted to get out of it I would need to push myself a little bit at a time. Reconnect with people socially, start being more active with sports and the things that I used to enjoy. Understand that some days you just wont want to do it, you can't do it, you need to retreat and withdraw and that's OK. But little by little push yourself and really start enjoying things again.
For me, realizing I was depressed was the turning point; realizing led to wanting to do something about it.
This week being the anniversary of Robin Williams' suicide has made me reflect on my own experiences. I've always looked up to Robin Williams, I've always found his humor and his stand up funny and he has definitely influenced my sense of humor. But what I connect with now more than anything is that even if you are laughing and joking on the outside, it can just be a wall, you could be a completely different person when you are "switched off", and you might be really hurting inside. I really identify with that.
In marking this anniversary I want to encourage discussion and understanding about depression. I hope that sharing my experience and my thoughts might help someone else understand what they are going through. Or if you are depressed, I hope that you can find that passion again, that you can enjoy life again, and although I am not arrogant enough to think that this blog post can help you get through anything, but if you can take comfort in these words and hearing my story I am truly honored. The more we all understand, the better equipped we are to support the people we love, or help ourselves when we get depressed.
And although I still don't see any point in life, I'm going to enjoy it while I'm here.
To me, music is an incredibly important thing. Music has the ability to touch us, but not in the creepy way like that weird uncle who has too many drinks at the family reunion. No, music has the ability to touch us right in the feels, which to me is incredibly cool because you have never met the singer, musician, cowbell player, etc.. and yet they can make you emote like some sick Jedi skill.
Certain songs connect to us, we associate them with memories and how we were feeling at a time. Music helps us get through the hard times and rock out during the good times. And, if there is a soul (which I think there is, but maybe that's a post for another time) I think that not only is it food for the soul, it's like a homemade lasagna that just makes you feel warm and full of love (I don't think love is technically paleo but WTF do a bunch of cave men know anywanys).
So here goes, here are 10 songs that mean a lot to me personally. Some of them have really deep emotional connections for me, some are just plain old awesome songs.
1. White Room - Cream
I'm going to go a step further here and recommend a specific version of this song. This version is a live performance from Royal Albert Hall in 1990.
For those who don't know me (or don't know this about me) I am a huge Eric Clapton fan. In my humble opinion he is easily one of the best guitar players of all time (not the best, but we'll get to that). Not to mention that EC himself has had an incredible life, made inspirational changes to himself, if you haven't read his autobiography I highly recommend it!
Now that I have rambled for a good minute or two, you might be thinking "What is Clapton doing on this list? Doesn't he mostly do soft rock like Tears in Heaven?" Oh boy could you ever be more wrong. Listen to the solo in this song. The man is Shreddy Kruger. Freaking Shreddy McShrederson. And all while making it look oh so easy. The kids in England in the 60's had it right, EC is GOD! This is just a good ol' song to rock out to, roll down the windows and turn up the speakers.
2. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin
Ok, I know this one is terribly cliche, however, I am willing to bet that a lot of people have had the same experiences as me with this song. High school, someone with an acoustic plucking out the beginning bars, everyone singing around a campfire. This song brings back memories of being with friends, arguing over who was better: Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix.
Is this the greatest song of all time? Honestly, I don't know, but I do know lots of people who would say that it is. I'm not sure that there is anything else that needs to be said about this song. If you have never listened to it WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??!?!?!?! Seriously, listen to it. Now.
3. Sweet Home Chicago
Again, anyone who knows me well will know that I LOVE the blues. To me, this song represents what the blues is to me, an expression of style, of musicianship and of the soul. There are LOTS of different versions of this song, the one I linked here is a pretty damn good one. But all of them are good.
This song is originally credited to Robert Johnosn, the man who went to the crossroads and sold his soul to the devil. It has been covered by almost everybody who is anybody in the blues scene. I really do think that this is the blues in it's purest form, a simple 12 bar progression with some awesome wailing guitar over top. This song proves that blues isn't sad, it isn't all about trials and tribulations. Blues can be fun and is really an expression of whatever you want it to be. But it HAS to come from the soul, if it doesn't you can tell. Blues is an emotional (not just sad, but really any emotion) genre, I think that's why I love it.
Oh and by the way, this is the last performance of a Mister Stevie Ray Vaughan, literally just before the helicopter crash that claimed his life. Although tragic, it is almost poetically fitting.
4. YYZ - Rush
Archer/Krieger jokes aside, Neil Peart really does stand alone. This is kind of a newer addition to this list for me. The reason why it is here (aside from easily being the best drum solo of all time. Oh and the bass is pretty sick too) is because recently one afternoon at work we were having an argument over who is the best drummer of all time. Now why this is important was that it was a discussion among friends, and in particular among new friends whom I'd met recently. Now this song reminds me that you can always find new friends if you want. That there are lots of really cool people out there, and as long as you don't judge (one of the guys I was arguing with is a well meaning although strange guy that loves golf and video games and not much else) you can have some pretty awesome discussions. So always try to have an open mind about people.
5. Voodoo Chile - Jimi Hendrix
Ah yes, as promisedthe brief exploration into who is the best guitarist of all time. First of all, this is Voodoo Chile, not Voodoo Child, no slight return, Voodoo CHILE, there is a very important distinction here.
Now when I was younger, I had always heard people say that Jimi Hendrix is the best guitar player of all time. I never really understood it, I had no trouble believing it, but I never really understood it. This song completely changed that. It exploded my brainspace. It also helped that the first time I listened to this song was on vinyl, but that is a little beside the point. But the way Jimi can almost just make sounds, like not necessarily traditional scales, but just sounds, and it sounds really cool. Along with the driving bass line, I have literally thought that I was being put under a voodoo curse by this song.
To me this song represents what music could, and should be. An exploration of what music is, and what music could be. I would argue that Jimi Hendrix is not only the best guitarist of all time, but possibly one of the best MUSICIANS of all time. He pushed the envelope, he innovated, he explored sound and what was possible. I think the world would be a way better place if we all did this more often in all aspects of our lives.
6. Thugz Mansion - Tupac (Nas acoustic version)
Wait a minute, I thought this was a list of classic rock songs, why is Tupac here? Well number one, screw you, I am a man of varying tastes sir! And number two, c'mon, it's Tupac.
This song is very special to me. Whenever I am angry I listen to this song. It reminds me that not only are there people that have it way worse than me, but those people have hope too. Those people also long for better things, better places, and better lives. Life isn't as bad as I think it is, whatever I am angry about is small. This song never fails to calm me down, to make me feel better. This song will always be a part of me.
7. Three Little Birds - Bob Marley
This song kind of goes with the Tupac song above. Above all else I love the message of this song. Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is going to be all right. There are so many things to worry about in this life, and if we worry about all of them what type of life is that? I really think that this song is almost an instructional tape on how to be happy. How to carry on in the spirit of Bob.
I was recently fortunate enough to get to travel to Jamaica. It is really paradise. One of the most beautiful places that I have ever been. Everything there was amazing, the food, the music, the people. When you are in paradise, you have to appreciate where you are and the beauty around you. As much as there is poverty in Jamaica, as much as they have been repressed as a people, and the history of the island, I think that this song really embodies the spirit of Jamaica, and I think that at least the Jamaicans that I met did appreciate the beauty of their island, I think we could all use more of this spirit.
8. Turn the Page - Metallica
This one was a difficult choice for me. I almost chose Children of the Damned by Iron Maiden because, well, Bruce Dickinson's vocals are freaking incredible on that track. However, I realized what I was trying to convey with Children of the Damned and with this Metallica version of Bob Seger's Turn the Page: both songs make me feel like a bad ass.
The reason I chose Metallica? It was a muggy Calgary afternoon in the middle of July. I was in Calgary as a co-op student and was heading home at the end of the day. As I was walking from the bus stop, it started pouring. And I mean POURING, thunderbolts and lightning (very very frightening) and the whole bit. I didn't have an umbrella, or a jacket for that matter, but this song came on my iPod and I walked, nay strolled, down the street getting soaked with my head up feeling like a complete bad ass. Now every time I hear this song, I remember that moment and feel like a bad ass all over again.
9. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles
Oh here come the feels.And yes, Mr. Clapton is making his third appearance on this list, I told you I was a fan ok? It's not just this version, EC does the guitar on the original version as well, I just couldn't seem to find the original version. But why this song is special to me, is how much sorrow there is, both in George Harrison's vocals, but for me especially in Eric's guitar. It expresses so much sadness, so much emotion and touches me so deep that honestly it does bring tears to my eyes every time I hear it. Legit, I can't hear this song in public haha.
I will always remember, my grandmother was incredibly sick and I had taken time off work to be with her. I remember getting the call that she had passed, that someone was coming to pick me up to go to the hospital to say goodbye. I got in the car and this song immediately came on the radio. I balled my eyes out. This song is special.
10. Hallelujah - KD Lang
I know what you are thinking "Nick we were with you on Tupac, but KD Lang?". Well number one, you are wrong, plus this is a Leonard Cohen song originally so it still kinda fits in. And number two, honestly this is another song that makes me ball my eyes out, especially this version. KD puts so much emotion into every note, every phrase, every breath. Honestly one of the most beautiful versions of one of the most beautiful songs ever.
Again, for this song, I was in Calgary, my Grandpa was very sick and I had just got the call that he had passed. I was sitting watching the opening ceremonies of the 2010 Olympics and this song came on, and I broke down. There is so much emotion here, it's really hard not to. Even to this day it brings a tear to my eyes.
Oh man, now that I am done crying, it is time to listen to Children of the Damned and feel like a bad ass again!
What are some songs that are special to you? How has music touched your life? Share below!
The other day at work we started a debate. Is milk good for you? Milk is high in protein, high in nutrients, and we all know that drinking milk helps build strong bones.
So why doesn't everyone drink milk? Why are some people lactose intolerant? Wouldn't it be evolutionarily beneficial to be able to drink what is clearly such an awesome, beneficial superfood? Shouldn't lactose intolerant people just succumb to Darwinism and just curl up and wait to die?
The history of milk
Evolutionarily speaking, mammals aren't meant to drink milk beyond
infancy. During infancy, mothers milk provides many benefits
including the transfer of protective antibodies from mother to
child, helping to build the infant's gut microbiota, and provides
hormones and other nutrients to the baby. However, after a certain
amount of time the mother stops lactating and the infant moves on to
a "normal" diet.
Humans probably started drinking milk as a necessity. Nomads in
central Europe kept herds of animals and likely drank the milk when
other food was scarce, or possibly as a necessity to provide vitamin
D to the diet in more Northern regions where there is not enough
sunlight during winter months. Normally lactase, the protein that breaks down lactose, is no longer
produced after infancy. However, in European populations a mutation
in the promoter gave expression into adult-hood. This makes sense as
looking at a global map of lactose intolerance (below) the most
lactose tolerant populations are descendant from Europeans.
Evolutionarily speaking humans were not meant to drink milk. The
majority of the worlds population does not produce lactase beyond
infancy and ingestion of milk can cause reactions such as
constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, bloating, gas, diarrhea,
allergies, eczema, and acne
Not to mention "The biochemical make-up of cow's milk is perfectly
suited to turn a 65-pound newborn calf into a 400-pound cow in one
year. It contains, for example, three times more protein and seven
times more mineral content while human milk has 10 times as much
essential fatty acids, three times as much selenium, and half the
calcium." Cows
milk was made for cows, not humans.
So evolutionarily speaking humans were not meant to drink milk.
But milk has all sorts of other benefits right? It is high in
protein, calcium, it's good for your bones. It contains 18 of 22
essential nutrients including phosphorous and vitamin D! How could
we look past something that obviously deserves superfood status??
Milk is good for your bones
Oh boy did they feed you a lie on this one. Studies suggest that
not only is milk not good for your bones, it actually
contributes to osteoporosis; incidents of hip fracture were actually
increased with milk consumption. One explanation suggested by the
study was the effects of galactose. In digesting milk, lactose is
digested to glucose and galactose. Galactose induces changes that
resemble aging, providing galactose through injections or diet is an
established animal model for aging. Galactose increases oxidative
stress, chronic inflammation, neurodegeneration, decreased immune
response, and broad changes in gene expression levels. Chronic low
grade inflammation is also associated with heart disease, cancer,
age related bone loss, and sarcopenia. These effects are seen at a
dose of 100 mg/kg which amounts to 1-2 glasses of milk. Conversely,
in cheeses and yogurts, bacteria have already broken down lactose;
fermented dairy products contain less lactose and galactose than
milk. Intake of fermented dairy products such as yogurt and cheese
are associated with lower rates of osteoporosis and does not
contribute to inflammation or oxidative stress. While milk
consumption was associated with lower levels of HDL cholesterol,
higher blood pressure, and higher levels of insulin resistance,
consumption of fermented dairy products was associated with the
exact opposite. So while dairy producers are asking "Got Milk?",
scientists find themselves asking more and more "Got Proof?" (and I
find myself saying "No, but I have some yogurt over here!").
One other suggestion that I came across is that milk proteins
specifically acidify your blood due to "Protein Renal Acidification
Load" or PRAL. In response to increased blood acidity, your bones
release calcium to act as a base and buffer your blood. This may or
may not be true (I didn't take the time to look), however, cheese
has a much higher PRAL than milk does but none of the
effects of milk; yogurt has a higher PRAL as well. This would seem
to contradict this argument so I have a hard time accepting it at
this time, and an easier time blaming galactose for all of milk's
troubles.
A healthy microbiota is a happy microbiota
Increasingly the gut microbiome is associated with more and more
diseases and conditions. Gut microbiome has been linked to Irritable
Bowel Syndrome (IBS), Crohn's, colitis, obesity, diabetes, and even
(tentatively) to autism. The impact that the composition of
microbial populations have in our health is becoming more and more
known, and the implications are staggering; altering the lung
microbiome of cystic fibrosis patients can have drastic impacts on
outcome. Needless to say that unhealthy gut microbiota, or a
microbiome that is out of equilibrium can cause vast health effects.
Here I have no proof. I have no papers to refer to, they may exist
but I didn't look that hard, however, a certain level of logical
abstraction should do. By consuming milk we are providing
different nutrients to our gut microbiota; different proteins and
fats than are found in meats, vegetables etc... With different
nutrients we can expect that different microbes will react
differently, some may grow better, some may grow worse, but overall
the microbiota composition will change as compared to a
diet with less or no milk. Given the implications of an altered
microbiome above, it is not a far leap to expect that drinking milk
could contribute to some of the problems.
Bottom line, drink milk, don't drink milk, I don't care. I'll stick
with my yogurt which has all the same great nutrients, none of the
osteoporosis.
What do you think? Is milk the superfood our parents told us it was? Share your thoughts!
It's a cheap t-shirt. In fact I got it for free at a conference I went to recently. It's not really anything special, just a grey cotton t-shirt and on the front in fluorescent green letters it says "Evolve." That's it. So what is so special about this t-shirt?
Well for me I see it as an instruction. Evolve. You might be asking "Nick, how do I do that? Isn't evolution a process that takes hundreds or thousands of years?" Well beyond altering your DNA what I think of it as is an instruction for a mindset. Evolve. Make yourself better. Push yourself to be better in some way every single day. In the words of James Altucher, improve yourself by 1%. That's it. Evolve. Be better. A simple instruction but definitely a philosophy to live your life by.
Now when I wear this shirt, I often wear it for sports. For those of you who don't know, I recently went through a pretty bad depression. It was a really hard time for me, and I gained a LOT of weight. Recently I have lost almost all the weight (I'm still working on it, but god damn carbs are delicious). This t-shirt serves as a reminder to push myself harder, be better, improve by 1%. Evolve. Don't settle for being ordinary when you can be extraordinary.
And you know what? You can be extraordinary too. Evolve. It's not a process, it's not a theory, we're not talking Darwinism here. Evolve. It's a mindset.
We've all heard the classics: "I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on my drums all day", "Everybody's workin' for the weekend", even "Taking care of business" is about not working. Clearly something isn't working here.
So there have been pushes to alternative arrangements. Telecommuting, compressed work weeks, trading longer work hours for "more time off". But does this really work either? Sure, some people are probably more productive working from home, but it doesn't work for everyone. And while you are slaving away at those 10 hour days, are you really as productive when you are pushing hour 9 as you were when you were pushing hour 4?
Sure there's upside for you too. Nothing like that 3 day weekend every week! But really, do you make the most of your 3 day weekend?
One person I have recently come to admire is James Altucher. For those of you who do not know who he is, he is a prominent blogger, author, podcaster, etc... who mostly writes and produces content about self improvement. One of his mantras is "improve yourself 1% every day, if you do that it compounds and results in a 3800% improvement over a year".
Who has time to do all that improving?! I know I get home at around 6-ish, by the time I make dinner, eat, and even THINK about cleaning up all I want to do is watch TV for an hour or two then go to bed. Not have to use my brain, forget about work because I've got to wake up and do that grind again tomorrow.
Anyways, on a recent episode of the podcast "Ask Altucher", James interviewed 15 year old Mark Messick (I highly suggest you listen to the episode!). To give a little backstory, Mark and his family moved and Mark had to be homeschooled for a while. Mark found that doing his school work, he would routinely work productively in the morning, finishing around noon or early afternoon, and then have the afternoon off.
Now I know what you are thinking. The automatic assumption is that Mark "wasted" afternoons playing video games or watching TV. Maybe he did do some of that, however, what really struck me is that Mark mentioned he got bored, and started looking for ways to fill that boredom. With that time off, he got to reflect on himself and find what he loves.
I'd like to think that this is the natural human condition. That humans are not meant to spent hours and hours idle, that our natural desire is to make ourselves better, to innovate, to find what we love, and to be truly happy. Taking time to reflect on yourself, and who you want to be is important. In my opinion Mark supports the idea that left on our own, humans would not simply recede to the couch cushions and go extinct.
Now here is where I might get really controversial, what I would suggest is a 6 day work week working 6 hours a day. Work from 8 until 2, then when you get home, you have 3-4 hours before dinner to focus on yourself, to grow, to improve 1%.
It's a complete paradigm shift. Companies would have to embrace it, work with staggered shifts, hell, it may not even work at all. People might have to be paid less. Companies would have to hire more people (actually that's probably a plus). But what we switch to is from a society focused on making money, on efficiency, on effectiveness, to a society focused on BEING BETTER. I think that is a really important thing.
Since starting to follow James, I try to improve myself 1% everyday. I don't always do it, sometimes I'm too tired, sometimes I'm too stressed, sometimes I just want to sit and watch TV. But I know when I have time for myself I get restless, I want to do something, I want to get better at something. I think we could all go a long way if we had a little more time to make ourselves better.
How do you make yourself more productive? What are some ways that you "improve 1% every day"? I'd love to hear your stories!
It was early on a Wednesday morning. I was sitting at my desk taking the first few sips of coffee, for once at work I was calm. No apprehension about dealing with difficult clients, no dread of dealing with my overbearing, micro-managing boss, for once not wondering "What time can I leave today?"
I didn't have a new job lined up. But at that point it didn't matter to me. I'd had enough.
There are many reasons to quit a job. You don't like the work, you don't get paid well enough, there is no opportunity for promotion, and on and on and on. None of these are really the reason I quit.
Don't get me wrong, there are definitely politics, personal differences, and maybe a little bad blood surrounding my departure. I wasn't paid enough, I didn't feel like I was positively contributing to the world, and I didn't feel like my company appreciated me.
But what I am realizing more and more, and perhaps this is a justification, but I had peaked.
Does this mean that I will never improve, that I am as good as I could possibly be? No. It means that I had made the most of the opportunity, that I had improved as much as I could under the conditions, and that any further improvement would be restricted by the company culture and the limitations of my position.
So it was time to move on. Time to find a new environment, to continue to grow, to continue to make myself better.
One thing I would like to urge to all of my peers before I sign off. To all you twenty-somethings out there: we have all worked hard, some of us have fancy degrees and credentials. That does not mean that our education is over. When I took my previous job, I wasn't happy that I was being paid only a little more than I made as a grad student. What I saw was the opportunity to learn about business, to expand my skill-set, and make myself more valuable to any future employer.
Education doesn't start and stop with school. Education starts and stops with YOU.
What do you value in a workplace? What are some reasons that you quit a job?
Businesses do it to connect with their customers, provide resources and increase marketing base. People do it to share stories, experiences, teach, and put themselves out there for friends, family, and yes, businesses to see.
But what about me? What could I possibly have to say that would be of any use to you, the reader? I'm just an ordinary, 27 year old guy living in Vancouver.
I think that's it though. I'm an ordinary, 27 year old guy. I don't know about you, but lot's of 27 year old guys don't really talk about their experiences. It's a tough time, recently out of school, trying to build a life, trying to build a career, and having to grow up in a hell of a hurry.
I've tried to write blogs before, most of them were "hey, here's my thoughts on a book I read" or "oh here's something that frustrated me". Most of them never lasted more than a couple posts. I lost interest in them almost as fast as my readers did.
What is different this time? What do I have to offer? I'm sure I have experiences to speak to a lot of people, but that's not why I'm writing. I'm sure other people are going through the same journey as me, but that's not why I am writing. I'm sure other people could learn from the success and mistakes I make on my career journey, but that is not why I am writing.
I am writing for me. That's it, and that's why I think that maybe I'll write a couple more posts this time, because I don't care what you think, this is for me.
